It was a Friday evening in July. My boyfriend and I had been joking about what a crazy Friday night we were having, as usual-- making dinner in the kitchen while intermittently dancing together (with our fur-baby bobbing along in our arms, of course) in our tiny space. Rager.
Although we were not out celebrating the weekend like many other 20-something-year-olds -- downing alcohol and yelling over the loud music -- we ended up having one of the craziest nights ever. The full story on why this evening proved to be so incredible will have to be hashed out at a later time, but for now, here is a portion of the wildness.
As the Full Moon was about to reach it's all time glory, I asked my boyfriend if he wanted me to read his Goddess cards (Goddess Guidance Oracle Cards by Doreen Virtue, PH.D.).
After an incredible reading that clearly turned out to be directed at me (full story to come), his cards were pulled. I asked him to concentrate on a question. He asked, "Am I holding myself back?"
Now, clearly, if someone asks a question like "am I holding myself back?" the answer is obviously YES. The fact that you are asking that means that you yourself already are recognizing that there is some sort of obstacle you are creating for yourself. Still, the answer that came through the cards and to me was pretty awesome. "That is exactly what I needed to hear," he said after the reading. "That is totally true."
So here are my thoughts on tarot cards and the like. Whether or not spirits or the Universe or whatever are speaking through and guiding you toward your card selection, it doesn't really matter to me. Remember when someone has asked you what you want and when you can't decide they have you flip a coin to determine your answer? As the coin is falling through the air, can't you feel your entire body lurch toward the answer you are secretly hoping for? Maybe you didn't know what you wanted when the coin was safe in the thrower's palm, but you usually have an inkling once the coin is thrown into the air. Why? Because the coin toss allows you to let go of your ego, your overly active mind, and your fear. All that is left is your true inner desire. The same thing works, in my opinion, for card readings. It is not quite the same, but your intuition, inner desires, and innate wisdom seems to come through easier when there is something tangible like a coin or a card to help facilitate your answer. But when someone reads the cards for you, that is something a bit more unexplainable.
"Am I holding myself back?"
The cards answered...
Past: Aine: Leap of Faith: "Take a risk, and put your heart's true desire into action!"
Present: Sarasvati: The Arts: "Express yourself through creative activities."
Future: Guinevere: True Love: "The romantic stirrings in your heart have propelled the universe to deliver great love to you."
The most important card, I thought, was the present card. Sarasvati. From Doreen Virtue's book, her message is: "You're a limitless being. if it seems that you have time, money, or other restrictions, it's simply because your mind is focused upon the material world. You can unlimit yourself by lifting the cloak of the material world from your focus. Music is essential for the expression of nonmaterial ideals and energies. It allows us to escape all limitations in our thinking and very existence. Surround yourself in music, and allow it to stimulate your own creative thinking and to spark new ideas. Flow with the music, and give yourself permission to investigate and experiment with putting your creative ideas into action. Enjoy being limitless."
When my boyfriend heard this message, he said, "yes, like when I play guitar, I always feel like I get lost in the music-- music seems limitless and I can keep playing forever in all different chords and combinations." That's when I realized that he was holding himself back by not living the other aspects of his life in the way that he experienced music and playing guitar.
So what did I take from this and give to my boyfriend? I said, "You took this leap of faith by leaving a comfortable and stable job that your parents approved of and pushed for. Now, you have to let go of your concentration on material things. Stop focusing on restraints like money and time. Be creative. That will bring you a true and passionate love."
"At work, while working with your clients, concentrate on the limitless, almost musical magic of creating. Forget about money and time and schedules. Through moving beyond the material concerns and living in a more creative, limitless way, you will find passion and love. Get lost in the moment. Get lose in the act of moving, helping, creating different sequences and exercises. Get lost in the magic of healing. By paying too much attention to money, how much time is left in the session, how many hours you are working that day, and what your schedule is, you are holding yourself back from finding true love in what you are doing and, of course, holding you back from healing people in the best way you possibly can."
Now, who knows if these cards were divinely selected for him. Who knows, and honestly, who cares? Because these words resonated with him and re-inspired him about a job that he was once completely fascinated by and in love with. He just needed a reminder to get back to that amazement, passion, and creativity.
I think that this was a great reminder for him. I had been noticing this negative shift in him, and I think he had too, in a way. Sometimes it is helpful to have a tool or an excuse or a method to allow yourself to get past your loud mind and find the truth you are needing to hear.
Although this message was perfect for him, I think that everyone could use this reminder. Lose yourself in the creativity and magic of whatever it is you are doing. Yes, money is important. Yes, our lives move to the rhythmic ticking of a clock. But money and time and schedules are not what we are here for. Move to the music of whatever it is you are doing.
